Ever Sober: Lisa L'Heureux

Five years ago I was beginning to lose faith that I would ever quit drinking. There were days back then when I had told people that I would not drink forever. I said I was just killing time. At the end of my drinking career, I was becoming quickly afraid that it would never end. I wasn't in control, was I ever? I began to question myself and my abilities. What was I going to do?

It was only other people now that were saying that I was unpredictable. I began to think I might be able to predict that I was going to go down the path of destruction that my brothers and sisters seemed to be on. I was mean and scared. I would not allow anyone to become close to me and nobody wanted to.

I prayed so many times during those days. Was it more than I do now? What is it about dying from a sickness or disease that brings a person to their knees, other than the most obvious reasons of the pain and the suffering? I don't know. I was so sick.

Today, I am getting better. Every day a little better, instead of every day a little worse. That's how it was when I was a practicing alcoholic. Every day was a little worse. Although I had good days and bad days, it seemed, the evidence of my body not being completely well now is proof of what a terrible condition I was truly in back then.

I did a bit of physical labour last week. I thought I would be sore this weekend but I wasn't at all from it. I did the same job three years ago or something like that and I was litrally in pain for a month. What I can tell is that I am this much better years later. My body is in better condition.

So, even though I am not completely well, I am still better than I was before.

It is Canada Day here tomorrow. There will be fireworks tonight. It hailed a little. The rain has been off and on all day. I remain sober through it all. Thank God.

Since you are here,

Lisa L'Heureux is the author of 7 books. Her work includes the Lisa's Sober Blog Series, This and the Man in the Moon and This One is About Domestic Violence. She lives in Alberta with her family.

​More than 4 1/2 years ago, Lisa took a life-giving "retirement", quitting practicing alcoholism.

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