Sobriety: It Is More Than What I Do

In reality, sobriety is my life, even just for today. It is what I do and it is also a big part of who I am right now. I spent so many years not a part of living that I am still sometimes awkward and very uncomfortable. I do not worry about it because I now know that is part of the recovery process for me. It was worse in the beginning.

When I first began this life-changing event, sobering up, I was sick and felt really bad. I went to the treatment center and it was not fun, I have to say. At one point I was sitting in an office bawling my eyes out. Truly, I felt like the people who were walking past the glass window were glad that I was crying. The counselor who had reduced me to tears sat there as though she too was gloating. It is odd and unusual the way the mind works sometimes.

What was funny is this article I wrote at the start about food. This was a published article by a newly sober drunk which was about health food. I had used a word in it that had nothing to do with food at all but instead it was a word that related to emotion but I had used the word in the wrong context. Three hundred people read the article over a period of time and not one person commented about this word I used in it. Nay, nobody commented at all. Some time later, I read the article and I realized my own mistake, I laughed and laughed, changed the word and fixed the entire thing.

So you see, that even though being sober is something I do, it is also a large part of who I am and how I define myself. Gratitude, yes, humility, often, embarrassment, not as much as it was before, all in, it is a pretty nice life in sobriety.

Lisa L'Heureux

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