Don't Give Up

Sometimes all I can do is #dontgiveup. The past four years have included some of the hardest times of my life. Still, one of the best things I ever did is #sober up.

I do like my sober life now even though it wasn't always like that. In the beginning it was difficult. I was slow and had a short attention span. I didn't sleep well and sometimes was up for days. I was sick for at least three of the four years and I am not completely healed to this day.

 I saw a girl who used to spend a lot of time at my neighbor's house, a girl I spent time around on the regular eight years ago. I saw her two days in a row. She looked at me twice the first day and the second day I was close enough to her that I said hello. She asked in wonderment, "who are you?" Incredible! I thought. "Lisa." I said. "Oh... Hello." She knew exactly who I was at that moment. This is what it is like to change so much to be unrecognizable.

My Twitter bio says, "I used to think that it would be horrible to be a drunk until I woke up old one day so I quit drinking to watch myself grow old." That meeting, I imagine, is what it will be like to grow old. Then I will be unrecognizable, even to myself, I think.

Will I continue to be happy? I hope so. I do know I am considerably less delighted than I was when I was first freed from my addiction. No, not less delighted, perhaps less enthusiastic. It is what happens when the realities of life become apparent. When I realized that the dreams I had weren't going to turn out the way I anticipated. In fact, some things turned out much, much worse, so far.

Nevertheless, there is much to be happy about. There is love. I can still find a way to look ahead with hope. I am sober today and not passed out somewhere about to wake up broke and alcoholess.

Lisa's Sober Blog New Cover

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