Sobriety and Serenity

Welcome! I never thought I'd say this but sobriety is really growing on me now. This is not a pink cloud. I have already been well-seasoned on this road. When I first started out, I could have cried everyday, in fact I probably did.

Serenity has been a difficult one for me to find because, frankly, I have never had much of this! I was adopted into a family that was much different than my biological roots. I found it stressful being a Native girl among the other Caucasian students in my grade schools. Some other kids made fun of me. When I got older and got back a little into my roots and met other Natives, some of them bullied me. My life wasn't made to be relaxing so much a full-on stress causing agent.

When I started drinking, I found that alcohol took away all the stress, if only for a short time, I could forget what it was like to be me. It was a double-edged sword because I lost my health and much of my life. Blackouts quickly became as effective as the short good feeling that I got from the first couple of drinks. Sobering up was stressful sometimes but never mind that because I'd just go get something more to drink. There was nothing that a
drink and more drinks couldn't help.

Now that I'm sober for a time, I would never give this up. I didn't realize how much of myself I was giving up in order to drink. After all of this drinking I couldn't believe how unhealthy I was. I was so weak. When I live to be a hundred and twenty, I will still be stronger than I was when I quit drinking.

Back to serenity. I take time to figure out what is really bothering me if something is. I work diligently at making and maintaining relationships. I rarely cry anymore, instead I focus on what is good and positive in my life. I think always of how I can possibly help others by doing what I am good at. I work on moving from one moment to the next moment without worrying too much about if something went wrong in the last. Life moves so quickly.

Staying sober is a daily event for me. There still isn't one day that goes by where I am not even for one second unconscious of the fact that every breath and every sober thought is indeed inexplicable. By all natural forces I would have killed myself many years ago. Instead, I live.

Thank you for reading!

Lisa L'Heureux

www.lisalheureux.com