The Real Deal

O, I've been sober now for over ten months
Amazing for a drunk like me ha ha
I'll tell you the story you've all heard before.
I've been a constant relapser.
And drank for more than twenty years off and on.
I'm still a little sick.
from it- (the drinking)
I have been UNDER THE WEATHER with basically two colds in a row.  
And I sometimes seriously think that my body and mind are trying to trick me into thinking that-
I'll never get well
...and that I'm just wasting my time.
Not drinking.
Just staving off the inevitable.
But, I SAY!!! I have been through an awful awakening.
What with being sober and trying to make a relationship work.
And a little girl to raise.
NOW.
I just got over freaking out all the time.
(Just starting to chill out!)
BUT SERIOUSLY.
If I tell the same story over and over there is one thing that is true and it never changes.
I still haven't got a (friend) in the world. (I don't know how to be a friend.)
I'm still picking up the pieces of the SO-CALLED-LIFE that DRUNK LISA left behind.
MY LEGACY.
So, with that, I surrender. AND I SURRENDER AGAIN.
Again and again and again.